Clifton 3rd with my man

It’s been a long time. Way too long in fact. I keep telling myself that there’s a reason, and I guess in some ways there always is. This time I like to think that it’s because of the new man in my life. The man that is captured in this post’s picture. It’s been almost 4 months now since we met and it’s amazing to see that sometimes, the most wonderful things grow from the strangest beginnings.
I was on the path to putting a schedule into my life. I had my gym routine, my writing regime, and I had my own space with my own time. One and the same, but somehow they always feel like 2 separate and tangible entities. I wasn’t particularly interested in becoming involved with anyone romantically. It was the beginning of December and the seasonally energy had started flowing through the veins of the city, like the shot of caffeine from the first morning cup of coffee. I wanted to play, I wanted to dance. I wanted to be me.
It’s always those moments that catch you off guard. You turn around, and staring into your face is the most beautiful smile and the chocolate eyes that you’re sure would melt in your mouth, although you end up melting into them instead.
‘Play calm’, the usual mantra going around in my head. Don’t get attached, you’ve been hurt more times than you’ve been able to forget. My heart doesn’t listen though, and secretly, when I admit it to myself, I like it that way. Live and learn, good or bad. I don’t care, as long as there’s feeling, I know I’m living and I’m happy.
So now there’s a man in my life and I’m feeling the return of emotion that had ebbed away a long time ago. I had settled – settled for stability instead of risk, comfort instead of nail-biting adventure. I had gone soft, forgetting who I was, rather sculpting my life from a collection of glossy magazines – latest fads, superficial social interactions and one-upmanship. No more. That was never me. The actor in me could play it, but not convincingly enough to fool myself. Can you ever?
Now I’m back. On the journey with no end station, but rather the important parts being a series of twists and turns. The exciting part is that I’ve got a travel-buddy now. Someone to look around at the world in wonder and amazement. Someone to climb the mountains with, run through the forests with, lie down in a quiet field at night and watch the stars with.
And the best part of it all? He loves me more, the more that I am me.